The Fairer Sex
Text Fred Flinstone
This was to be an article about women drivers in Bedrock, but there is a problem: there aren’t any, or practically so. About eight years ago, Fred stood on a street corner and counted the number of cars that passed before he saw a woman driver. As he remembers, the number exceeded 200. A more recent vigil counted to 25. Statistics are hard to come by, but Fred would guess that under five percent of drivers on Bedrock roads are women.
It would be interesting to know just how many women had driver’s licenses before 1992. Before Fred first took the wheel in Bedrock himself, he had a driver, Kolya, a lifetime professional who, like many pre-1992 drivers, got his first experience in the army. Kolya thought that women were to blame for most problems on the roads and commented so practically every time he saw a woman driver. If she was slow off the mark at the light, this was further proof of the danger they pose on the road. It was difficult to explain to him that women drivers in the West are statistically safer and also qualify for lower insurance rates. At the time, auto insurance in Bedrock was practically non-existent.
The relatively few cars and drivers pre-1992, or even pre-1998 financial crisis, means that the vast majority of drivers in the city, including women, are relatively inexperienced. Many first hit the road when already past the age of 30, and driving is something better learned young regardless of gender. Also, given that it is possible to “purchase” a driver’s license without ever taking a lesson, the skill level on Bedrock roads is rather low.
Even though more women now have a driver’s license, many, like Wilma, don’t drive, discouraged by the danger and aggression on Bedrock roads. The bad boys of Bedrock streets can be vicious and unforgiving, and from behind tinted windows, no one is spared. And who can tell whether the driver in front is male or female, young or old, when you are weaving through traffic on the Garden Ring as if it were a NASCAR racetrack.
There are many courteous and reasonable drivers on Bedrock roads, male and female, but it is the high number of reckless and dangerous drivers, seldom if ever female, that makes the roads fearsome.
To be fair, many new drivers take the task seriously. The spare shelter of the inexperienced driver in Bedrock is the warning sign, a simple “У” (for uchenik, student) posted in the rear window or, more prominently, on the roof of the learner’s car, warning off all but the most angry and impatient. Most drivers will give a little leeway to the “У” driver. If Wilma gets back on the road, she will defi nitely get her “У” sign, a big one, set on top of the car.
Fred would like to say that the roads, like the government, might be better off left to women, who are less likely to wield the power in their hands as a weapon. But, alas, it’s a wicked world, and women drivers in Bedrock can be as aggressive as their male roadmates. They “feel the need” to jump in without signal or hesitation, to prove they are as good as anyone else, to show they can “lock and load” with the best of them.
Recently, Fred was watching one of the Bedrock talk shows, an interview with a well-known star of the musical estrada. The subject, when asked about driving, was proud to declare how much she enjoyed going at close to 200 kilometers per hour to the countryside. It was “relaxing,” she declared.
There are many courteous and reasonable drivers on Bedrock roads, male and female, but it is the high number of reckless and dangerous drivers, seldom if ever female, that make the roads fearsome.
So, not unlike the question recently posed during the American presidential primary races, will the Bedrock female be a driver who happens to be a woman or a woman driver? I guess we will have to wait eight more years to find out.