Dare to ask Dare
Expats and Russians alike ask celebrity columnist Deidre Dare questions about life in Moscow.
I am Russian, but I am really hooked on traditional American values like democracy/ capitalism and “the customer always comes first.” However, when I speak to young Americans about this, they hate the entire 200 year old 100% American viewpoint. Does this mean that young Americans hate their old generation?
Dear Yankaphilic Russkie:
Although I grant I haven’t read it in a while, I believe that Thomas Jefferson and the other Founding Fathers didn’t put anything in the Declaration of Independence regarding the right to good customer service.
Just a little history lesson for ‘ya there, mate.
But I suppose if they had, it probably would have come right after that enigmatic “pursuit of happiness” business. I always wish we’d been granted the right TO happiness rather than merely the right to search for it fruitlessly. Ah, well...
Anyway, regarding your young Yanks, they all sound like traitors to their country: no self-respecting American would put up with bad service, except, of course, in New York City. And I’m guessing they probably wouldn’t be anti-democracy/ capitalism, either, except, of course, in the White House.
Just a little political theory lesson for ‘ya there, mate.
I’ve begun sleeping with my boss. My sister thinks that’s a really stupid thing to do. What do you think?
Dear Sleeping Her Way to the Top:
Usually, sleeping with your supervisor is a good idea that can bring you lots of hard-to-obtain perks. I seem to have made rather a habit of it, and it’s almost always worked out for me.
In fact, I find it most unfortunate that I now work for myself. Ah, well...
Why is simple drinking water not served in Moscow restaurants? In USA and other big cities, it is being served anywhere just after you sit down!
Dear Parched & In Need of Evian:
During the first year or so that I lived in Moscow, I freely drank the tap water (that’s what’s served in Western World restaurants when you sit down, by the way: tap water, free of charge).
I still bleed a little every time I go to the bathroom in the mornings.
‘Nuff said? I certainly hope so!
Really! Come on! Stop being coy: what happened to your Moscow News Column? I miss you desperately and Fridays have become pointless!
Dear Can’t Live, if Living Is Without Me (Can’t give, Can’t Give Anymore):
Check out Deidredare.com. I think you’ll be happily surprised.
As an expat, I find it amazing that there aren’t any bugs in Moscow during the summers. Any theories?
Dear Missing Those Whom Flaunt a Crunchy Exoskeleton:
Interestingly enough, I do have a theory about this (she wrote, as she watched her Russian housekeeper cruelly vacuum up live flies. “My, these Russians can be cold!” she remarked to herself as she turned back to the keyboard after watching a fly struggle helplessly against the rule of physics which teaches us that nature indeed “abhors a vacuum”).
And here it is: Those found to be in possession of exoskeletons were purged by Stalin during the period 1936-1938.
Why don’t you have any children?
I guess you’ve never seen my abs. Trust me, they’re keepers.
I was recently going out with someone who desperately wanted children – he took one look at my stomach and completely changed his mind.
I’m a 22 year old Russian woman and I absolutely know that I am terrible in bed. Any helpful hints you can give me?
Dear in Danger of Being A Non-Breeder:
When I was about your age, I attended a seminar given by the convicted felon Sydney Biddle Barrows (aka The Mayflower Madam) and learned everything a girl needs to know in the bedroom department.
The only “famous” Russian prostitute I can find on Google is Anna Plushenko. So, my advice is to her:
Start giving classes, honey!