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My World

Dare to ask Dare
Expats and Russians alike ask celebrity columnist Deidre Dare questions about life in Moscow.
Photo by Maria Savelieva

Dear Deidre:
I do not understand why Western girls do not use attractive pictures of themselves on their Facebook profiles. Sometimes they even use photo of a flower or mountain! Why don’t they do it like Russian girls and be very sexy

Dear Likes a Good Visual:

You’ve got me. I have absolutely no idea and have often wondered about this myself. Though I agree with you that flowers and mountains are awful, I find the Western women who post their child’s picture as their profile shot even more frightening.

What it basically means when they do that is that these women have subsumed their entire identity into their offspring. They have simply disappeared as individuals - and it seems to me that since that is what is expected from mothers in the West these days, they are only blindly reflecting the society they live in. See? Frightening stuff.

This is one of those Western “values” that I hope never arrives here. It would only oppress Russian women, who I admire a lot for their naked individuality whether they are mothers or not.

As for your scenes of nature ladies, I’ve decided that the only possible explanation for posting such a picture is that these chicks must be really butt ugly.

And Russian women never are.

xxoo DD

Dear Deidre:
I am an expat woman and I want to fix up two people I know here in Moscow. The guy is an expat friend of mine who’s been looking for a wife and the girl a Russian I met in my building. Any advice?

Dear Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me a Match:

Yes. Don’t!

I was in the middle of doing the exact same thing recently when I realised that I was fixing up the man of my dreams.

I think it was all that “Oh, he’s very smart and kind” and the “Yes, he does work out and make a lot of money” stuff that finally clued me in: there aren’t a lot of those guys running around Moscow.

Best we keep them to ourselves, eh? If I’ve learned anything, I’ve learned that Russian girls can take care of themselves in this department. They really don’t need a helping hand from us.

xxoo DD

Dear Deidre:
I got fired and my husband left me. I feel just awful about everything and feel very depressed. What would you do if you were me?

Dear Troubled One:

Think of yourself as going through your own personal Russian Time of Troubles. Something that happens to us all on occasion.

In America, a lot of people get comfort from the acronym WWJD, which means “What would Jesus do?”

I invented a different question however and it might just help you.

I use WWSD. Which means “What would Scarlett do?” and refers to that hell-bent-on-survival character, Scarlett O’Hara from GWTW (which means “Gone with the Wind.”)

In any crisis as difficult as yours, I ask myself “WWSD?” and take whatever actions I decide Scarlett would take if she were in my shoes.

Frankly, my dear, TIAD.

Which means, chin up! Tomorrow is another day.

xxoo DD

Dear Deidre:
How are you doing in this smoke? I am thinking of leaving Moscow very quickly.

Dear General Kutuzov:

Hopefully, by the time we go to print, the fires will be out and this question will just remind us all of how lucky we are that the bitter unbearable winter is coming at last.

I try to think of these smoky days as Napoleonic. In other words, I like to imagine that this is what it was like for the Grande Armee when they entered a burning and deserted Moscow in 1812.

Sure, most of them died. But remember: it wasn’t the summer that got them. It was the winter.

xxoo DD

Dear Deidre:
I am an American and I married a Russian woman and now I realise she is crazy. I am very unhappy – what do I do? It is a disaster.

Dear Screwed:

It almost always is, my friend, it almost always is.


Scarlett’s unhappy marriages always ended up with her husband dying in some battle. But since the Grand Armee is gone from Moscow, that probably doesn’t help you very much.

I suggest you volunteer in Iraq and pray you die in some battle.

xxoo DD

Do you have a question for Deidre Dare? If so, please email her at 

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